An orange

At the grocery store. Orange juice was available as:

• No Pulp
• With Pulp
• More Pulp
• Loaded With Pulp

They did not have the other levels which are, in order of increasing pulpitude:

• Loaded With Even More Pulp
• Extra Loaded With Lots Of Pulp
• Holy Shit, That’s A Lot Of Pulp
• Seriously. There’s A Lot Of Pulp In This Motherfucker.
• Stop Fucking With Me. Who Would Want This Much Pulp?
• I’m Not Fucking With You. There’s So Much God Damned Pulp In This Sumbitch That You Should Forget A Straw Because You’ll Need A Fucking Ladle.
• Screw The Ladle. Get A Carving Knife.
• No Longer Juice. Slightly Damp Pulp.
• An Orange

I thought something funny would cheer me up. Guess i thought wrong.

Someone cheer me up or make me fall asleep.